Desire Mercy Reflection 4 — “…do not let yourselves be burdened again…”
Reflecting on traditional beliefs about marriage, divorce, and remarriage, in light of the mercy of Jesus
‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’ Galatians 5: 1
We are told in these sentences that Christ has set us free for freedom. Freedom? Is that just freedom from the consequences of our wrongdoing? If we look at the following sentence in Galatians 5 we find Paul references that the human imposition of rules will negate the value of Christ to us.
‘Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all.’ Galatians 5: 2
So the yoke of slavery here is not solely referring to the burden of a propensity toward doing wrong, but rather the burden of rules that are imposed on us by those who assume authority in our lives, that belongs only to Jesus Christ.
Those who did not fully appreciate the freedom of the New Covenant wanted to impose the requirements of the Old Covenant on people, according to their former traditions. Paul, the writer of the letter to the Galatian people, emphasizes that it is only faith in Jesus that counts:
‘The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.’ Galatians 5: 6b
Faith, expressing itself through love…
Gretchen Baskerville quotes Christian therapist, Michael Alvarez MFT in her book, The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships:
“A marriage must be safe and loving (or at least respectful),
where both people are grateful for the other’s capabilities.
Otherwise it is not marriage.
It could be kidnapping or incarceration or servitude,
but it isn’t a marriage.”
A marriage that is not loving in this view, is not a marriage. Such a relationship would not be worth promoting.
To promote such an unloving relationship would encourage an unloving marriage partner to believe their unloving choices are acceptable and should have no uncomfortable outcomes.
To promote such an unloving relationship would also encourage an unloved marriage partner to accept such behavior as normal, and to feel compelled to remain in an unloving situation.
Could promoting an unloving relationship then, be described as faith expressing itself in love?
If Christ bought our freedom both from the consequences of our wrongdoing and from the burdens placed on us by people, what can an unloved marriage partner conclude?
Is their unloving marriage partner demonstrating a faith expressing itself through love? No.
Are people in their faith community who insist they remain in an unloving relationship demonstrating a faith expressing itself through love? No.
Who are unloved believers ultimately answerable to?
I AM that I AM is our God, not our marriage partners, nor our faith community members, and not the institution of marriage, either. Jesus the Christ, Son of God, is the one who has set us free for freedom (Galatians 5: 1a). Jesus is the One we are answerable to.
We are instructed in Galatians 5: 1b to:
‘Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’
Let’s stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Let’s not be burdened by a yoke of slavery from an unloving marriage partner who is not demonstrating faith expressing itself through love.
Let’s not be burdened by a yoke of slavery from unloving faith community members who promote the preservation of unloving marriages, and who are therefore not demonstrating faith expressing itself through love, either.
The following quotes are from Frederick Douglass (born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey, c. February 1817 — February 20, 1895) an American social reformer, abolitionist, suffragist, orator, writer, and statesman who escaped slavery in Maryland:
“I did not know I was a slave until I found out I couldn’t do the things I wanted.”
“I prayed for freedom for twenty years, but received no answer, until I prayed with my legs.”
These are both quotes that unloved marriage partners who separate from and divorce their unloving marriage partners can relate to.
The parallels between any form of slavery, be it slave labor, sex trafficking, child abuse, senior abuse, or marriage partner abuse, are many. Praying with one’s legs is always acceptable when faced with unloving slavery.
Many advocates are themselves survivors of abuse, and they have hearts of mercy for those enslaved in unloving marriages. A few of these advocates are listed below with their website addresses. They all have social media platforms, either public or private or both, where you can ask questions, share about your story if you need to, and find understanding:
Sarah McDugal — www.wildernesstowild.com
Gretchen Baskerville — lifesavingdivorce.com
Barbara Roberts — cryingoutforjustice.blog
Helena Knowlton — confusiontoclaritynow.com
Patrick Doyle — patrickdoyle.life
Natalie Hoffman — flyingfreenow.com
Patrick Weaver — patrickweaver.org
http://lifesavingdivorce.com/pastors/ — Gretchen Baskerville’s resource article that gives many links to the work of pastors that agree that divorce is an acceptable response to emotional abuse
Read more in the Desire Mercy series, or find them all in one story, Marriage & Mercy:
Sharon Roberts-Radic is grateful for life, freedom, mercy, and Jesus.
